The Let them theory

How come I read the book: The let them theory of Mel Robbins?
What is The let them theory?
What is the content of the book The let them theory?
Why would you read let them, let me?

How come I read the book: The let them theory of Mel Robbins?

I have been one of the few people living under a stone, the last decade. Not totally sure how that happened, or the rate of the shade, but the main thing is... I am getting out of that space. My friend, in peri menopause, has been raving about Dr Stacy Sims, she is an exercise physiologist, nutritionist, author, and advocate for women's health and fitness. So I watched Mel Robbins interviewing her on YouTube. That is another topic for another blog.

What is The let them theory?

There is a lot of fuss slash marketing around this New York Times-bestseller author and book. I got curious and decided to read it. When I started, or before I started to read, I was not feeling excited about reading a self-help book. But I thought you can always learn, and why not? According to Mel it is not a selfhelp book, it is a way of living.

Mel shares a lot of personal experiences in her book, which makes it real and nice. She has had her own struggles in life. With positivity, she shares her experiences and the let them theory. Everyone knows already know a lot about dealing with issues, even I as a psychologist by profession. But... the book stimulates to start thinking about certain topics in your life and how you deal with it using the let them, let me theory.

In summary let them, is let everyone live their own life, let them do the things they would like to do. The only thing you can change is to change yourself, you can take action by let me...

Let them does not mean that you allow others to walk all over you or accept everything. It means choosing what you allow into your life. In the book Mel gives a good example.... When your partner for example is struggling with a diet, and is very unhealthy. Let them, lie on the couch, eating chips. Let them figure it out. Let me (shut up and only encourage and not complain anymore) give the good example with exercise, and let me reward positive behaviour regarding loosing weight. Let me leave or end the relationship, when you can't deal with it anymore (but give it some time, to let them, let me...). Make it your lifestyle.

What is the content of the book The let them theory?

Mel writes about

how not to waste your life any longer, with things you don't have control over
how to let them, let me...
how stressful life can be
how to deal with stress, using the let them theory
how to let them think negatively about you
how you can love difficult people
how to deal with people who act childish
how the right decision often feels wrong
how life is not being fair and comparisons
how to deal with friendships when you are an adult
how and why some friendships will dilute naturally
how to create good friendships
how the power of influence works
how saving people leads to sinking
how to give support in the right way
how others can show who they really are
how to bring your relationship to the next level
how every end is a beautiful beginning

Why would you read let them, let me?

I got mainly inspired about how you can deal with your present and future relationships with friends or your partner. And how you have dealt with your past relationships, what your patterns are and what you can do to wish yourself the best (and act upon it).
It made me think about the choices I made and what stops me to do what I want to do. What are the thoughts in your mind? How do you feel about others having an opinion of what you do?
You get an insight on how you can deal constructively with difficult situations. What worked and didn't work in the past and how you can use the let them, let me in practical in the future.
What your own influence is on your own life and your surroundings. Of course, you know it, but Mel brings it to another level.
Let people do what they want. What they choose to do says something about them, not about you.
Instead of trying to change others or control other people's behavior, you choose to protect your energy and let go of what you cannot influence anyway.
It comes down to let them be, let me do what I feel I can do, and let me do that is the best of my ability. Let me is not abandon others, it is about supporting others towards (positive) change.
It is like Acceptance and Commitment therapy, it is about choosing to accept the behavior of others as it is, and making your own choices based on calmness and self-care.
I recommend reading it, will you?