There is no difference between people with a high and a low self-esteem with regards to the desire for connection. However, compared to people with a high self-esteem, people with a low self-esteem have several characteristics.
- They feel lonelier.
- They have less satisfying and stable relationships.
- They are more shy.
- They are more socially anxious.
- They are more introverted.
One essential part of the development of intimacy is self-disclosure. However, people with a low self-esteem may be self-protective. They focus on avoiding revealing their flaws rather than focusing on their good qualities. This orientation guides a lot of the behaviours of people with low self-esteem and leads them to self-disclose less. Self-disclosure is positively associated with likability (1), relationship quality (2) and relationship stability (2).
Both people with a low and high self-esteem view Facebook as offering opportunities to express themselves. There are several characteristics of Facebook usage of people with low self-esteem:
- They view Facebook as a safer place to express themselves.
- They view Facebook as offering opportunities to connect with others.
- They view Facebook as offering opportunities to self-disclose.
- They express less positivity and more negativity.
- They express more sadness.
- They express more frustration.
- They express more anxiety.
- They express more anger.
- They express more fear.
- They express more irritability.
- They express less happiness.
- They express less excitement.
- They express less gratitude.
People with lower self-esteem are liked less by strangers on Facebook due to the increased negativity. There is a greater social reward for more positive updates on Facebook for people with a low self-esteem but not for people with a high self-esteem. For people with a higher self-esteem, there is a greater social reward for more negative updates but not for people with a low self-esteem.
It is possible that disclosing negative personal information signals that the discloser trusts the person and desires connection. However, expressing negativity on Facebook may lack fostering intimacy and may lose its relationship-boosting effects when it is constant and indiscriminate (e.g. public post rather than a private message).
