What is compassionate mind coaching? - Chapter 9

This chapter discusses the characteristics and application of compassionate mind coaching. Compassionate mind coaching (CMC) involves a progressive series of exercises and practices derived from mindfulness, compassion, Buddhism and other therapeutic and coaching approaches. CMC suggests that in order for people to make progress in their lives, it is better if they get in touch with their own and other people's suffering and to take steps to alleviate and prevent such suffering in the future. CMC is commonly applied with clients who engage in excessive self-monitoring, are self-critical, are shame-prone, and lack confidence. It aims to change thoughts like 'I am a failure' into 'Well, it is a new skill, everybody struggles to begin with, but with practice I will gradually improve and I cannot expect myself to be so good right now'. It is important for the coach to be familiar with the background of the client's self-monitoring system and the degree to which that is harsh, aggressive or even hating, and to get better at helping their clients to start mindfully noticing the emotional tone of their self-monitoring system, as well as to help clients to generate different emotions when they are trying to be helpful to themselves, such as affiliation, acceptance and kindness. 

What is the evidence base of compassionate mind coaching?

There is a growing amount of evidence that self-compassion is linked to psychological health and well-being. Individuals who are self-compassionate experience better psychological health, lower levels of anxiety and depression, lower cortisol levels, increased heart-rate variability, less rumination, perfectionism and suppression of unwanted thoughts, and a greater willingness to accept negative emotions as valid and important. In addition, self-compassion has also been linked to psychological strengths, such as happiness, optimism, wisdom, curiosity and exploration, personal initiative and emotional intelligence. 

Given the benefits of self-compassion, it makes sense for coaches to explore this option in their sessions. But can different aspects of compassion, including self-compassion, be increased with training and practice? The short answer is: yes. Several compassion programmes now exists, including: Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT), Compassionate Mind Training (CMT), Compassion Cultivation Training (CCT) and a Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC) programme. The latter is studied and the researchers found a significant effect in self-compassion, mindfulness and various wellbeing outcomes, both briefly after the intervention as well as during the 12-month follow-up measurement. Taken all studies together, we can conclude that compassionate mind coaching interventions lead to significant improvements in physical and psychological functioning in a wide range of populations. 

How to apply compassionate mind coaching in practice?

For coaches to apply compassionate mind coaching in practice, the author suggests to consider the following models and concepts: the old brain, new brain model; the three circles model of emotional regularity; it is not your fault; compassion; mindfulness; positive emotion; multiple selves; who is running the show?; and imagery. 

The old brain, new brain model

The old brain, new brain model suggests that there are two brain parts: the old brain is shared with our reptile ancestors. This brain is used for the base functions: feeding, fighting, fleeing and mating. The new brain is unique to humans and involves processes such as self-monitoring, reflection, thinking, imagination and mentalizing. A skilful coach can use the old brain, new brain model to help their client to understand that many of their problems stem from the way the brain has evolved, and that they (like other humans) have tricky brains containing different parts which are not well integrated and that can get them trapped in unhelpful loops and patterns. The coach can also use this model to make clear that 'this is not your fault' as well as helping clients to better understand why they can and do experience such a disconnect between their thoughts and feelings. 

The three circles model of emotional regularity

The three circles model is used by coaches to help their clients understand how three evolved, basic functional emotional systems interrelate and become unbalanced. The three types of affect regulation system are:

1. Driven, excited, vitality
   • Incentive / resource focused
   • Wanting pursuing, achieving, consuming
   • Activating
2. Content, safe, connected
   • Non-wanting / affiliative-focused
   • Safeness, kindness
   • Soothing
3. Anger, anxiety, disgust
   • Threat-focused
   • Protection and safety-seeking
   • Activating / inhibiting 

Coaches use this model to help clients see in what way their emotional regulation system may have become unbalanced and to explore the benefits of spending less them in threat or drive mode and more time in safe, contented, recovery mode.

Who is running the show?

Other ways to apply compassionate mind coaching is to focus on positive emotions, mindfulness, it is not your fault, compassion and imagery. A final tool is the following. One may ask the question: 'who is running the show?'. The idea that each of us contains a range of 'selves' within us is applied here. That we all have a 'critical' self (our inner critic), an 'angry' self, an 'anxious' self, a 'compassionate' self and so forth. These different 'selves' can take centre stage when different situations arise, and that may not always be beneficial. Compassionate mind coaches may ask the client which of their 'selves' they want to be (generally) running their lives. Assuming the client would choose their wise, compassionate, kind self to be generally running their lives, the coach lets the client know that it that is the self that they will be working on together. 

What practical tools and techniques are available for compassionate mind coaching?

The first tool is psychoeducation. Clients typically do not know that much about how their brain has evolved or how the emotions they experience are regulated outside their conscious awareness. So it is important that the coach educates the client about these concepts and theories. 

Secondly, it is important that the client is motivated in order to not only start, but also persist with compassionate mind practices. Skilful coaches help their clients to discover their own motivations for doing compassionate mind training, and then strengthen these reasons while building client self-efficacy or confidence about changing. 

Thirdly, the coach will support the client in actually applying these compassionate mind training practices. In doing so, it is important that the coach does not overwhelm or overload their client with too much mindfulness and visualization activity too soon. It takes time to develop these skills, neural pathways and connections which underly and enable compassionate mind practices. 

Other tools and techniques that are briefly described in this section are:

• Soothing breathing rhythm.
• Body scan with compassionate focus.
• Mindfulness sitting practice and experiential acceptance.
• Creating a safe place.
• Visualizing a compassionate colour.
• Cultivating a compassionate image.
• Cultivating the compassionate self.
• Cultivating the wish to be well and happy.
• Cultivating compassion towards others.
• Cultivating compassion for different aspects of oneself.
• Exploring self-compassion through writing.

When might compassionate mind coaching be most suitable?

Compassionate mind coaching is in particular helpful for:

• Clients who seem to have a very strong or harsh inner critics, who beat themselves up a lot and who find it hard to escape from negative self-talk.
• Clients who seem to have an overactive threat-focused system, experiencing unhelpful levels of fear, anger and / or anxiety.
• Clients who seem to have an overactive drive-focused system, experiencing unhelpful levels of wanting, desiring, pursuing, consuming and competing.
• Clients who seem excessively concerned with rank, doing well compared to others, or to be better than others, or who need to prove themselves to themselves, an important other, a dead parent, and so forth. 

This chapter discusses the characteristics and application of compassionate mind coaching. Compassionate mind coaching (CMC) involves a progressive series of exercises and practices derived from mindfulness, compassion, Buddhism and other therapeutic and coaching approaches. CMC suggests that in order for people to make progress in their lives, it is better if they get in touch with their own and other people's suffering and to take steps to alleviate and prevent such suffering in the future. CMC is commonly applied with clients who engage in excessive self-monitoring, are self-critical, are shame-prone, and lack confidence. It aims to change thoughts like 'I am a failure' into 'Well, it is a new skill, everybody struggles to begin with, but with practice I will gradually improve and I cannot expect myself to be so good right now'. It is important for the coach to be familiar with the background of the client's self-monitoring system and the degree to which that is harsh, aggressive or even hating, and to get better at helping their clients to start mindfully noticing the emotional tone of their self-monitoring system, as well as to help clients to generate different emotions when they are trying to be helpful to themselves, such as affiliation, acceptance and kindness.