Expat and Emigration Interviews: Sanne's life in the US

Who is Sanne?

Hi, I’m Sanne! Currently working in IT but a trained biologist in heart and soul. I studied Biology/Biochemistry in the Netherlands and spent four years wrangling roundworms during my PhD where I discovered a gene that helps cells stay organized.

As for my spare time, as Nietzsche once wrote “You have made your way from worm to man, but much within you is still worm”—some things never change: I love to bike, as much within me is still Dutch—and I love to get into nature, as much within me is still a biologist!

I’ve lived almost all of my life comfortably in the Netherlands, and I’ve always wondered what it was like to live life in the US. That idea really started to take shape when I began working for my current employer and saw opportunities to grow internationally. Then everything aligned: I got the chance to move for work, discovered the Pacific Northwest which feels like nature heaven to me, and I met my partner here through work as well. I’m driven by spontaneity and taking opportunities when they present themselves and moving to the US felt like the right combination of growth, adventure, and experiencing a different life altogether.

Sanne's Emigration Story

What should people know about you to understand your emigration story?

I’m someone who really values life through new experiences, by personally growing through change, and building social connection through the appreciation of different perspectives. I therefore love stepping into new environments and challenges.

Was there a specific moment or event that inspired you to emigrate?

It wasn’t one single moment, but the idea really took shape over time. How I would fit in in the US was something I already thought about during my graduate studies. When I started working on a project for my current employer, I saw that I could really help the team in Seattle with the experience I gained in the Netherlands. Then I visited and experienced the Pacific Northwest on vacation, and I just fell in love with the nature, the people and the picture of my life here. Finally (and not completely unimportant), I met my partner in the Netherlands, who is American and lived here near Seattle. This was the final little nudge that not even made me think if I should, but when I would emigrate.

How did you prepare?

Poorly, honestly. The project I would be working on at the PNW location really needed my help and I already went over for a couple of months before I had a new contract, visa and my house was still full of everything I owned in the Netherlands.The timing and uncertainty with getting a visa did not leave any time to plan for a proper goodbye to friends and family, to pack or sell my belongings and to sell my home. A year later has gone by and I’m still not caught up with the results of my move.

I’m usually not nostalgic or appreciative of my home country at all, but when I realized I was going to leave (~2 weeks before my flight out), I felt so appreciative of things I took for granted, like biking to work, walking to a grocery store. It wasn’t necessarily something I prepared for, but I do think it emotionally got me ready to say goodbye.

Life in the US as a Dutchie

What does your life look like / what makes you feel ‘at home’ in the US?

I feel most at home when my (new) friends come over unannounced and invite me to holiday celebrations and family gatherings. Building a community is extremely important to me and I feel very grateful that after a year I’m surrounded by wonderful people that I can call this home.

Living in an area that’s known for being active is also extremely helpful. I’m spending a lot of time outside, going for walks, exploring the mountains and I even bike to work sometimes! Combine this with living together with my partner in my dream home, that’s overlooking the mountains and Sound makes this such an incredible experience for me.

What is the funniest or most painful misunderstanding?

At first, I definitely had moments where I was very Dutch in my directness. I realized halfway through that I might need to soften things a little. Now I start to appreciate the cultural difference in showing respect in a Dutch way, through directness and honesty, and in the American way, through compassion and empathy.

The most painful misunderstandings are still through seemingly correct translations in definition, that might hit differently in connotation, depending on the context and culture. Unintended interpretations by listeners after I have chosen my words very carefully are mostly painful to me, as my effort in finding the right words and all the best intentions in the world are not always reflected in the outcome of the conversation. This has caused me to become more shy and cautious in my interactions compared to being very confident and outgoing in my Dutch life.

Have you adopted any local customs?

Totally! I’ve really embraced the outdoor lifestyle here. I love how normal it is to just go out into nature, even on a workday evening (skiing, on a school night?!). I’m also growing in adopting the curiosity and friendliness: talking to people more casually and finding connection outside of your comfortable bubble.

What is your favorite local tradition or holiday?

I really love how people here create moments around being together, barbecues on the 4th of July, crazy dinners during Thanksgiving. Overall, I see Americans as people who really want to get the most out of life. I love the ‘weekend adventure’ culture and the craziness about sports is truly engaging and exciting every single time. Things I would view in the Netherlands as ‘just act normal, you’re already crazy enough’/‘just play ball!’ you would not see here, everything is all out (including fireworks, jet flyovers, musical performances etc etc) and I’ve learned to not only appreciate it, but truly love it. Why not live your best life, all-out!

How does friendship differ from back home?

In the Netherlands, friendships often build slowly and become very deep over time. Here, people are incredibly open and welcoming from the start. I’ve learned that friendships here grow through shared experiences like exploring, doing things together. This matches really well with how I like to spend my time, but sometimes feels a bit lonely as I miss the deep conversations and honest connections. 

That being said, I’m lucky to have incredible friends here that knock on my door unannounced and invite me to their family gatherings and holidays. Hopping on a plane is also much more common here and friends fly in from all over the country to visit.

The Challenges of Life in the US

Were there moments you doubted your decision?

Yes, especially when the bureaucracy kicks in or when it’s hard to balance the work-life balance with trying to adjust to your new country’s culture. But now that I moved to a new place that has the most incredible sea, mountain and naturally green views, I have a constant reminder of how lucky I am to live here.

What do you wish you had known beforehand?

How much of the transition is not just logistical but mental. You’re constantly adapting and that’s okay. Giving yourself grace is really important. Allow yourself to be tired, in the beginning you’re translating all day!—Language, road signs, culture, day-to-day selfcare products and groceries (what do you mean they don’t have any ingredients to make nasi here?!).

What was your biggest culture shock?

Paper-based-bureaucracy. No DigiD?! I have to go to a different physical location for every single interaction that involves the government. Incredibly inconvenient, inefficient and surprisingly old-fashioned and demotivating.

Which skill did you never expect to need?

The surprises were in the little things, for example: going to a grocery store and not intuitively knowing where to find what you’re looking for. 

A big one is understanding what’s culture and to adjust behavior to be respectful as a guest in your new country. From my experience, in Europe a mixture of culture is more common: I worked with Portuguese, Germans, Chinese, Greeks, Spanish, Americans, Indians, Brazilians all within one team! Everyone is different and it’s expected to have cultural differences and miscommunications. I’ve noticed here that sometimes people may not have had as much exposure to different cultures or non-native American speakers yet, occasionally making interactions feel uncertain. Or subconsciously assuming you will convert to their norm, opposed to finding a middle ground.

Thinking about the Netherlands

How do you deal with homesickness?

I try recognize it as something positive, it means I have a homeland to be proud of and people on the other side of the world that I care for. I stay connected with people back home, but I also actively invest here: in my relationship, in friendships, and in experiences. That balance really helps. Remind yourself what the reason is that made you move!

What do you appreciate more about the Netherlands now?

The bike/walking culture, how easy everything feels logistically (and bureaucratically), how direct our communication is. But mostly—and this one shamefully came as a total shocker for me—the sense of safety and freedom that Dutchies take so much for granted! I’m subconsciously much more on high-alert since living in the US, or—to speak in biologist’s terms—I find myself much quicker in fight-or-flight mode.

The Day-to-Day

What would you highlight about your work?

I really enjoy being in a role where I connect people, systems, and ideas; ensuring that there’s no waste through inefficient communication. I’m proud that I was able to transition internationally while staying on top of my job, making a difference through connecting different teams that don’t always speak each others (work-)language. That experience taught me a lot about adaptability and resilience.

Have you developed new hobbies or interests?

I’ve leaned even more into being outdoors, there’s so much more nature to explore here than in the Netherlands! Living here almost encourages you to do that. It’s such an important way for me to recharge and balance out that work-life balance I’m so cautious of not to lose. 

What do you do in your free time to feel connected?

Spending a looot of time in nature, either trail running, cycling, backpacking or skiing! Exploring new places with my new community of friends.

Thank you, Sanne, for being so open about your experience. Good luck in the US and on all your outdoor adventures!