When your long-term travel plans come to an unexpected end

This blog post is simply about sharing an experience. Maybe it will help you make a decision about your own trip, or perhaps it will make you feel a little less alone if you’re going through something similar. Either way, I wanted to share the story of my adventure that was supposed to last a long time but ended after just three weeks.

In May 2019, I set off on my first long-term travel adventure since I was 18, when I travelled around Asia for five and a half months. In the years that followed, I visited quite a few places, but my trips were either short holidays or related to my university thesis. After finishing university in August and wrapping up a temporary job in March, which had allowed me to save some money, it was finally time to embark on a new adventure.

It took me quite some time to decide when and where to go, but I eventually settled on Asia, including Taiwan and Japan. I wanted to visit old friends, discover new places, and, of course, eat lots of delicious food.

The plan… or lack of one

Well, there wasn't really a plan. I had a one-way ticket to Taiwan and arrangements to meet my sister and her family in Japan towards the end of May. After that, I was free to go wherever I wanted for as long as I liked, or, perhaps more importantly, for as long as my money would last.

Little did I know that this dream would come to an end after just three weeks on the road.

When I left, I had just found out that my (ex)stepfather was ill. In the months leading up to my departure, I had been visiting him and helping to take care of him whenever I could, fitting it in around work and preparations for my trip.

As my departure date approached, I became increasingly worried about whether leaving was the right decision. But I already had my ticket, and I decided to go. I told my stepdad that if things got worse, I would come back immediately. Alternatively, if things improved, perhaps he could come and visit me.

At that point, I had no idea how serious his cancer was. Looking back, I based my decision partly on my own desires and on the hope that everything would be all right. Perhaps that was a little selfish, but I genuinely hoped things would work out.

When things don't go as planned

I had a lovely few days in Taiwan, sightseeing, eating vegan food with the girl I was staying with through Couchsurfing, and catching up with old friends. However, after about a week, I developed a horrible throat infection. I decided it was time to move on to Japan, hoping for cleaner air and less humidity.

I spent two weeks with my sister and her family. It was fun, although sometimes stressful, as travelling with other people can be when you have different plans or approaches to travelling. During this time, however, I started feeling increasingly uneasy. I texted my stepdad and occasionally called him to check in, but I received less and less information about how he was doing. Through his niece and brother, I eventually learned more about the situation and how much his health was deteriorating.

I was no longer enjoying my travels. I felt increasingly stressed and worried, and this started affecting the time I spent with my family, too. Eventually, I decided to abandon my plans for long-term travel and return home.

It was both a difficult and an easy decision. Difficult because I had been looking forward to this trip for so long, but easy because, by that point, I knew where I needed to be. It is a decision I have never regretted, because about 1,5 months after I returned, my stepdad passed away. I had been able to be by his side during the final weeks of his life, throughout his fight, and on the day he died.

It was one of the hardest periods of my life, but I wouldn't have wanted to miss those final weeks with him.

Making the decision to go home

Why am I sharing this?

Because situations like this can arise unexpectedly while you're travelling, and it can be incredibly difficult to figure out what to do. Suddenly, the trip you've been looking forward to for months, or even years, might no longer feel important. You may find yourself torn between the adventure you've looked forward to for years and the people you love.

I think one of the most important things in these situations is to trust your gut and allow yourself to be okay with whatever decision you make.

On two previous occasions, I had chosen to stay abroad when someone I had known since childhood passed away. I knew I could honour and remember them in my own way, even from a distance. This time was different. I decided to go home because I wanted to be there for my stepdad, and I felt that I needed to help and support him. My trip no longer mattered to me in the same way.

Neither decision was necessarily right or wrong. They were simply the decisions that felt right to me at the time.

Life is always changing, and you never know what might happen next.

I struggled deeply with his passing, but after a few weeks, I gradually found my way back into a routine, including returning to work. I also started looking forward to my next trip, although I knew I needed time to heal emotionally, and that healing would take much longer.

Little did I know that COVID-19 was just around the corner. My next trip wouldn't happen until the winter of 2023, four years later. But that's a story for another time.

Some tips and advice

If you're facing a difficult decision while travelling, here are a few things I've learned from my experience.

1. Check your travel insurance

Having travel insurance was a huge help in my situation.

I explained to my insurance provider that my stepdad was ill and that I needed to return home to be with him. Although insurers may ask for supporting documentation, my insurer was extremely understanding and reimbursed the cost of my flight home after I booked it.

This experience reminded me how important it is to understand what your travel insurance covers. Depending on your policy, you may be covered for certain unexpected situations that require you to cut your trip short, including a serious illness or death in the family.

Before you travel, check your policy carefully and ask your insurer what would happen if you suddenly needed to return home. Find out whether emergency travel costs, unused bookings, or a possible return to your original destination are covered. Don't assume these expenses will automatically be reimbursed, as coverage and conditions vary between policies.

Having this information in advance can make an already difficult situation a little less stressful. And if you don't have travel insurance yet - or want to know more about it - please check out Insurances on the Worldsupporter website, there's tons of information.

2. Trust. Your. Gut.

Make your own decision without letting other people's opinions dictate what you should do.

Of course, it's incredibly helpful and important to talk to people who know you well and whose advice you trust. They might offer a different perspective or help you work through your feelings. But ultimately, it's your decision, and you are the one who has to live with it.

For some people, that might mean staying abroad and continuing their trip. For others, it might mean changing their plans and going home. Both choices can be valid. You don't have to justify your decision to everyone else.

3. Give yourself permission to change your plans

It's easy to become attached to a plan, especially when you've spent months saving money, planning, and dreaming about a trip.

But changing your plans doesn't mean you've failed. Returning home early doesn't erase the experiences you've already had, and it doesn't mean you won't have other opportunities to travel in the future. Sometimes, life simply asks something different of us than we expected.

Allow yourself to change direction if your priorities change. You don't have to keep travelling just because that was the original plan. You-are-not-failing,

4. Stay connected with the people at home

If you're worried about someone back home, try to establish a way of receiving updates that works for everyone involved.

In some situations, communication may be difficult, and family members might not always know what to share or how to share it. If possible, agree on a point of contact who can keep you informed, particularly if the situation changes.

This won't necessarily make the uncertainty disappear, but having a clearer picture of what's happening may help you make a decision. This is what I did with my stepdad's niece, she ended up keeping me informed, which helped me make the decision to go back home.

5. Remember that you don't have to decide everything at once

When something unexpected happens, it can feel as though you need to make a decision immediately. Sometimes you do, but sometimes you have a little time to think. If circumstances allow, give yourself space to consider your options, talk to people you trust, and find out what practical arrangements are possible.

You might decide to continue your trip for a little longer, change your route, take a break, or return home. Your decision can depend on the situation, your relationship with the person involved, your own needs, and what feels right to you. And, you can always start travelling again, when the time feels right (especially if insurance covers your flights).

6. Be kind to yourself afterwards

Whatever you decide, you may experience feelings of guilt, sadness, relief, doubt, or even regret. You might question whether you made the right choice or replay the alternatives in your mind. Try to remember that you made your decision with the information, feelings, and circumstances you had at the time.

You can't predict everything, and you can't control every outcome. Give yourself permission to grieve, to rest, and to take the time you need to process what happened. And if you need support, don't be afraid to ask for it.

Have you ever faced a difficult decision while travelling?

I'd love to hear about your experiences. Have you ever had to cut a trip short because of something unexpected at home? Or have you decided to stay abroad and deal with a difficult situation from a distance?

I believe there is no single right way to handle these situations, and hearing other people's experiences can help us feel less alone when life doesn't go according to plan.

If you're facing a similar decision right now, I hope you find the clarity, kindness and peace you need to make the choice that's right for you.